Look what the younger crowd has done to me…

It was bound to happen.  Hanging with the younger crowd has led to me to say something that even has me shaking my head.

I have had the good fortune for most of my life to have little ones around.  As a nurse I have been blessed to witness quite a few babies take their first breaths.  I am an expert at quick diaper changes and swaddling!

When my kids got older I had  a niece and nephew come along to keep me in step with the toddler crowd.

Just as they started getting bigger we started having grandchildren.  We had one a year for five years.  Our youngest grandson , Tristun evened things out last December making it 3 boys and 3 girls.

So it had to happen.  My brain got stuck in toddler mode.

Paul and I went to the movies on Sat.  It was a rainy day and the theater was crowded so we rushed to find seats.  Not wanting to have the movie interrupted by the call of nature  I left Paul to save our seats and made the customary before movie pit stop.

After I returned I settled into my seat, turned to Paul and said …

” Don’t you have to go potty”?

oops for blog_0001

I realized what I said as soon as I said it , gasped and then burst out laughing.  Paul wasn’t so amused.  He was grateful I had used my “inside voice” and not announced it to the whole theater.

I think I need to start hanging out with an older crowd.

Too bad “Everybody Loves Raymond” isn’t still in production.  I am sure they could have made a whole show out of this one.

Reality shows are never as good as real life.    Feel free to share those funny moments in your life so I know I am not alone!

Grandma’s T-shirt had a best friend too! Who knew?

Remember how I discovered my t-shirt has a best-friend?   Well it turns out that party in our  closest has been going on for generations.

My grandmother was born in 1902 and lived a full 90 years.    That is a lot of party time for her bra’s and shirts blouses.  Honestly I am not sure she ever ever wore a t-shirt.

How do I know the party started generations ago?  Well look what I found in a box of memorabilia that belonged to my Grandma.

bosom friend 2

Whoa!  Go Grandma!

When she was a young ingenue, Victoria’s Secret truly was a secret yet to be revealed.

I imagine the bras my grandmother endured were built for function ( probably by a man) and not all that imagineear.com/pharmacy/ attractive or comfortable but they managed to have friends anyways.

One can only imagine what this friend did for my Grandma…

Inside bosom friend

Carried her

  • Extra cash
  • smokes
  • number of her next hook up ( sorry grams)
  • gum
  • lipstick
  • ???

I only wish Grandma had left some hint as to what she really did carry.  Come to think of it my Grandma hailed form West Virginia.

Where is that box of memorabilia?  When I find it my guess is I’ll find a cute little flask, just big enough to hold a few sips of moonshine and small enough to fit in her bosom buddy.

Rock on Grandma..that is a true bosom buddy!

My T-shirt has a best friend..who knew?

I was recently in one of my favorite stores.  In my group of friends we refer to it by its little known french name  Tarjay…you may know it as Target.    A couple of my friends refer to it as the “hundred dollar store” since that is what their bill always seems to be.

I must be getting rusty since one of my recent outings there was just one dollar!

So I was ambling down the aisle the other day and much to my surprise I discovered that my t-shirt has a best friend.

Really?  Does this mean I have to arrange play dates?

Turns out I was in for about 15 minutes of entertainment.  What can I say, I am easily amused.

Where was I you ask?

I made the mistake of thinking I could just whip into the “lingerie aisle”, pick up a couple of bras in my size and be on my merry way.

NOT

Yes, true confessions.  I buy my bras at Target but maybe for not much longer.

Bra shopping in and of itself can be maddening.  Once you find one you like and fits you well you had better buy all you can afford because the evil bra makers will discontinue it if they find out it is well liked.  I don’t understand their logic but that is what seems to happen to me and lots of other women.

So this is the first sign I see that led to believe there is whole new world of bra relationships out there!Tshirts best friendNot just my t-shirts BFF but her NEW BFF!  Wow…what have I been missing here..there is a party in my closet that I was NOT invited to!

Of course no relationship would be complete without that helpful bra!Helpful bra!

Lift me and I’ll return the favor!

Gives new meaning to the phrase  “tit for tat”

This was getting good.  Who knew this would be so entertaining.

Turns out there is one that gives away the secret to SMOOTH success!Secret to smooth success

And its beyond bare. Funny I thought beyond bare was just plain naked.

This next one has it all wrong.Genie bra what all women wish forI got news for the Genie bra..this is not what all women wish for. Last  time I checked most women wanted a cleaning lady, a nap and dinner ready when they got home.  Maybe that has changed since the bestseller “The 50 Shades of Grey ” has come out.  I’ll let you know after I read it. Who wants to lend it to me?

On top of everything else now our bras need to be accessorized.   Give them a BFF and they become high maintenance.

bra accessoirs$24.99 to accessorize my bra?  Not happening  here no matter what her BFF  says.

And this one doesn’t want to confused with anything techy..so instead of wireless its

Wirelesswire free and not short on self -esteem since it deemed itself  “simply perfect”

And of  course we have to have the “Snooky” in this group of  bra friends.2 times sexy  adds 2 cups

mmmm..no thanks.

Last but not least we have the over achieving bra.self expressions full support stays up all day heaven sent of your dreamsIt is the bra of your dreams, stays up ALL day and I would guess the night as well, it self expresses and is heaven sent.

WOW!

I did end up finding two bras, not sure if they are becoming my t-shirts new BFF.  I’ll let you know.  In the meantime I have to check out this new store that actually gives its bras names like Hannah, Misty and Suzi.

I can just see it now.

“What a pretty name, were you named after a relative?   “No  I was named after Mommy’s favorite bra!

Gotta run…I hear a party going on in my closet!

My life as a sitcom..or real life is funnier and more real than reality TV

Why my life should be a comedy show:

I am making a case that my favorite comedy writers should just call me up and ask me for the latest happenings at the Ross household.  We seem to have an endless series of comedy routines unfolding daily.

So first up..my parents.  Bless their 85 year old hearts.  They are a constant source of humor.

Scene 1  “Let them eat flowers”

My Mom just celebrated her 85th birthday.  Her “real” present is a day with me that involves great food and lots of retail therapy and time together.   In the meantime we sent her flowers and balloons.  Not just any flowers.  Something different.

Flowers in the shape of a cake.    The florist assured me that it would be beautiful.

It was too beautiful and too real.  My Mom loved it and she was especially excited to get balloons. Seems in her 85 years no one ever sent her balloons.

Note to self..you are never too old to receive balloons.

Later in the day we spoke and she once again thanked us and then said “We can’t wait to have a piece of the cake”

OOPS

We finally had her look closely at the cake and she laughed when she realized it really was flowers and not cake

In her defense it was delivered in a cake box.

My Dad’s reaction “What?  Does that mean we don’t get cake??”

Hahahahahaha…sorry Dad..I’ll bring “real cake” when I visit the next time.

cake( This is the photo from the florist.  Mom sent me one of the actual cake which was all white with pink but her photo ( like all the photos she takes) was mostly of the wall.  Sigh..just gotta love her!)

Scene 2:   “Wait I am standing right here”

Could never seem to catch my boss in her office.  Sooo I sent her an e-mail even though I would have rather talked about this situation  in person.  Ran into her the following day and this is what unfolded.

“Hi Jenn..got your e-mail but just haven’t had a chance to respond.

Great…( I take a breath)  Obviously I breathe in way too slow because she was already halfway down the hall and out the door and though I tried I could not catch her to talk  for the 1 minute I needed to hear her response.

Seriously??  The writers from “The Office” need to contact me for even more material that could potentially get me fired.

Oh and 2 days later I still don’t have that e-mail response and she has gone MIA again.

Scene 3:   “Thanks Jeff..its really not that bad”  or “Certain rooms are off limits”

I  have to tell you this happened years ago when people still had a sense of humor about these things ( Thank God)

So I am in the shower in the late afternoon on a summer day after doing some yard work.  I hear my six year old son yelling “Mom. Mom Mom Mom ”  throughout the house.  I yell back  I”m in the shower”  The renditions of Mom Mom Mom reverberate up the stairwell until he discovers me SOOOOO I open the shower door and there he stands

WITH HIS FRIEND, Jeff.

Jeff immediately covers his eyes and I close the door and mutter “Its really not that bad Jeff”

My son gets a lecture and new rules on who he can bring into the bathroom (nobody) .  That’s not the worst part.  The worst part was calling Jeff’s Mom to tell her if her son ever mentions ( hopefully not at the dinner table) that he saw Mrs. Ross naked, ummm..he is not lying.

So there you have it.  Scenes from Part 1 of  our version of reality T.V.

What’s your favorite “reality” moment in your real life?   We can’t be the only ones whose family motto is:

“Remember, as far as anyone else knows,

we are a nice, normal family.”

Keep laughing and keep “trying”