Archives for October 2012

My life as a sitcom…new ways not to shower!

I thought having two guys that worked out and all their smelly work out clothes had pretty much indoctrinated me to the world of manly smells. Add on the experience of three pre-teens who thought showering was optional and I claimed to be a smell expert.  

Out of 2 daughters and  a son I was not surprised that the girls got the showering thing down faster than my son ( as in you need to do it every day not just once a week or when you clear a room with your smell)

So I was quite surprised to find that grown, well educated women had come up with a new way not to shower!

Yes you read that right. Grown women not showering.

But wait there’s more.

Not showering AFTER a workout and going on to work.   Boy do I feel sorry for their officemates

While I can’t reveal my source this is first hand info from a guy who wears his work out clothes until they practically beg to be washed and even he is grossed out by the no showering thing.

Here is the deal.  These women workout on the treadmill, or eliptical or bike.

They place industrial size fans in front of the equipment.

My gym does not have these so I guess if you are going to do this you have to pick the gym by the size of their fans.

They work out and presumably sweat just like the rest of us .  The fans however are running at full speed and make it seem like they don’t sweat and I guess they still feel fresh and clean after their workout because ….

THEY DO NOT SHOWER AFTERWARDS!

What????  I really didn’t believe this at first so I had it verified by several people.

I even wondered if the fans were to alleviate hot flashes but no..and even if they were to relieve those short bursts of personal summers, a shower would still be needed.

Is this a new form of multi tasking?  Have we gotten so busy that we have reverted to the hygiene ( or should that be hijinks) of a 12 year old boy?

Honestly if my son had thought of this when he was twelve I would have laughed and given him credit for being inventive as I hurried his smelly bod into the shower.

The guys hate the fans.  Let’s face it, guys sweat way more than most women so when the fans are on presumably keeping the gals fresh enough for the rest of the day, the guys are freezing their buns off.

One guy tried to turn the fans off and all hell broke loose and bit by bit the no showering thing was revealed.

Pretty soon all gyms will have to add to their list of rules posted in the gym.  You know the ones:

  • No spitting
  • No swearing
  • Wipe off the equipment when you are finished
  • Limit your workout to 30 minutes when people are waiting

AND

The fans DO NOT REPLACE taking a shower!

big fan

Of all the strides women have made in the workforce I don’t think smelling like a guy at the office was ever on the list.

I just can’t make this stuff up.  It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer thought it was okay to shower AND rinse his produce ( lettuce etc) at the same time.

EWWWWW

We are women hear us roar smell us coming.

OMG  I think I just gave that reality show “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” an idea.

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