Monday morning found me starting a week of being in charge of  three of my grand kids ages 6, 5 and 5 months.

Piece of cake or so I thought.

By 8am I wanted a do over.  Just so you know the day started at 6am  with Summer, age 6, reminding me what time the bus came so she wouldn’t miss it AGAIN under my watch.  Evidently I made quite the impression when she missed the bus because of me last September.

Oh the pressure!

Had the morning routine mapped out.  Everyone fed, dressed, baby diapered, lunches packed, diaper bag ready, backpacks ready and we head out the door.

Almost.  The baby, Tristun needed a diaper change at the last minute.  No problem.

Problem.

It was at least a 6 wiper, all up his back and all over his outfit.

Back on track we head out the door.  I should mention that Summer is reciting the time to me every 30 seconds and reminding me that the bus is coming.

The plan was to drive to the bus stop even though it is spitting distance from the house.  This way I can head straight to the pre-school with Bella.

Problem #2.  Can’t get Tristun into the car seat.  The straps are way too tight.  WHAT??

I have a few choice words for car seat manufacturers that cannot be repeated.   After a few minutes of struggling with the car seat I realize I need to take Tristun AND the car seat back into house to fix the problem.

Summer is still reciting the time.  I sit her on the front step to watch for the bus.  I struggle with the car seat.

How hard can this be? I have a college education I should be able to this.

NOT!  Now I am sweating.   And then I hear it!  THE BUS, THE BUS.

Oh crap…she missed it.   Not quite.  The bus driver was kind enough to stop in front of the house and pick Summer up.

Phew.  Figured out the car seat, got to pre-school, got home and seriously thought “  I KNOW its five o’clock somewhere”

As the song goes “My Mama said there will be days like this”

Tristun gave me a toothless grin and I remembered one day many years ago when his Mom was three, wanted popsicles for breakfast, her brother was 10 days old, I locked myself out of the house, had to get a locksmith to open it up spending money we DIDN”T have and found the popsicle box on the counter and a huge puddle of former popsicles all over the kitchen floor.

And I survived.

The rest of the week has been much smoother.  Julie and Louie are here in the evening so I am not on 24/7.

Still I think it should be Mother’s Week and not day.

I consider it a successful day here if everyone is fed, happy and reasonably clean.  Its extra special if I get a shower.

Deja Vu for sure.

And to my daughters, Sarah and Julie.  Happy Mother’s Day!  You two are my heroes.

May Mother’s everywhere be honored and loved this Sunday!  ( and get a shower lol)

Guys definitely would not get this.  I generally wear my work out gear once and then wash it .  My husband claims you don’t need to wash it after every work out because you are just going to get it sweaty again.

There is some logic in that but not much.

I like the friends I work out with too much to subject them to working out next to me in really ripe workout clothes.

Actually I like myself too much to put on smelly work out clothes.

I am also inclined to go for a run, bike ride or head to the gym if I like what I am wearing.

I ran a 10k in April with a really fun training group from Active Life Fitness.  One of my favorite team mates Jeannine, showed up in this bright pink floral running skirt with matching arm sleeves.  She looked awesome and it really added a festive spirit to our team.

Her comment to everyone that day was “Well, if I can’t be fast at least I am fashionable”

Thanks , Jeannine.  You inspired me to share some of my favorite  work out wear and where you can get them.  I will do some bargain shopping as well since we all like to save money.

Wow..shopping for cute work out wear..this could be dangerous.  Nothing like feeding an addiction to support my blog.   It’s a sacrifice but I think I am up to it .

My sisters are probably scratching their heads over this new found interest in fashion since it has never been a passion of mine.  Don’t get me wrong, I  clean up real well but I do like to be comfortable.  Maybe that is why I became a nurse.  Nothing like a pair of comfy scrubs and tennis shoes to make your day more enjoyable.

Here are a few samples from Running Skirts Who wouldn’t want to run while wearing these cute outfits?

I am a big believer in wearing cute colorful sports bras.  If its chilly I may start off with a shirt but more often than not it comes off.

Here are few more sports bras from running skirts that caught my eye.

Love the scrunchy look of this next one.

And last I am in love with this tangerine running skirt!

I would like those abs as well..sigh.

Please share your favorite styles or patterns for workout wear!  Have a fashionable Friday!

I am not naive enough to think that this is the first time this has happened.  This just happens to be the first time they got caught.

My guess is they thought they had a good thing going UNTIL a new guy joined their little soiree and thought it was bargain night for Colombian hookers.

I can’t help but wonder about the screening and hiring process the Secret Service uses where they end up hiring  a bunch of guys to protect the President and at least one of them thought it was extreme couponing night in the red light district in Columbia.

That is just plain wrong on so many levels.

How can you protect the President with any credibility when you can’t even figure out that if the woman is charging $800 you can’t get away with paying her $30.  You are in Latin America, you have tapped into the dark side of Columbia, and you are still looking for a bargain?

OMG

You are lucky you just lost your job and not part of your anatomy.  Ever hear of Lorena Bobbit?  If not, google her.  She was one angry Latina who took it upon herself to give her husband an extreme circumcision.

I know there are also women on the Presidential Secret Service detail just to be fair.  I am confident they have more sense than this particular gaggle of men protecting the president.

That being said I do believe the Secret Service would be wise to hire an all women panel of screeners for potential new hires.

These women should be at 45 yrs or older, survived at least one teen-age son and have a very reliable BS meter.

They certainly could do a better job than whatever process the Secret Service is using now.

I can’t help but chuckle over the potential questions that might come up in the interviews.  Using the popular style of questioning it might go something like this:

“Tell me about a time when you hired a hooker and tried to get away without paying her”

And while I don’t support the “world’s oldest profession” my guess is this woman more than earned that $800.

As for the Secret Service agents, Forrest Gump said it best “Stupid is as stupid does”

The Pippa Middleton story about her and her French entourage of  handsome rich guys pointing guns at the paparazzi was the top focus.  Evidently pointing a gun, real or fake is a big no no in France.  The best thing from this story could have been the suggestion that perhaps that would be a good law here in the U.S.

That point was never mentioned.  It was more about how Pippa was embarrassing the royal family.

The second story of the day were all the tornadoes in the mid-west.  Peoples lives were devastated.  Five people lost their lives, three of them being children.

And still Pippa made the top story.

She outranked Angelina  and Brad’s engagement.  This got 3rd billing in the news ranking.  Really?  I can’t even express the magnitude of how much I DO NOT CARE about her and Brad.

Not one mention of the fifth anniversary of the VA Tech Tragedy.

I wonder if  GMA got confused and thought it was the E! Channel.

Pretty sad when a so called news show thinks two so called celebrities are more important than five people losing their lives or having a moment of silence or a nod of acknowledgement to the 31 lives lost at Virginia Tech.

I primarily watch the morning news for the weather and of course for any breaking news.  I think I can get this info elsewhere and get a better start to my day.

It’s past time for me to NOT be watching this garbage. Anybody else with me?

This is what I care about today!

Well I sort of got my new drivers license.  They gave me this 81/2 by 11 piece of paper to carry with my expired license until the new one arrived ..drum roll…in the mail!  WHAT??   Took me exactly 5 minutes to misplace that piece of paper.

One good thing though, I drove the speed limit until my new license arrived since I had no proof I really had a valid license.

I could just picture it.  The cop stops me and asks for my license.  I give it to him and try to explain the new one is in the mail.  Yeah, right.   I have never been stopped for speeding but I felt like my car had a big old red target on it screaming”Stop her, stop her”

I hate my new driver’s license.  I hate the photo in particular which makes me want to hide my license from everyone.

Virginia unfortunately issued driver’s license to many of the terrorists involved in 911, so there are new security measures in place before you can get a license.

You have to jump through many many hoops.  This is not bad, just annoying.  I only had to jump through a few because I had a valid license.  BUT if I had waited and let it expire it would have been horrendous which is why I found myself enduring the endless wait the day BEFORE my license expired.

Yes I have a little problem with procrastination plus I was mad that I couldn’t do it through the mail like last time.

So one of the new measures taken for security purposes is to take the photo in black and white, no hats, scarves or anything on your head and NO SMILING.

I didn’t have a previous mug shot but I sure have one now.

I have heard this makes you easier to recognize.  Really?  I think it makes me look dead with my eyes open.  I showed it to a few people and they said it doesn’t even look like me.

My point exactly.

I now use my military id if someone needs to see one.  The photo is also in black and white and not much better but its smaller and fuzzier and less embarrassing.

So if you ever wondered what your mug shot would look like, feel free to come get a license here in Virginia.

It is also the source of much humor.

Disclaimer:  anyone reading this who knows or comes in contact with my parents..Keep the secret..teehee..siblings and cousins this means YOU!

Before I begin let me lower the “cone of silence” with a tip of the hat to that 60’s sitcom “Get Smart” and assume you all can keep a secret, especially those of you who actually know my parents.

Last night Paul walked into my parents home and the scene went something like this:

Mom…guess what Paul? I have news! We are now part of the Neilson family.
Paul scratches his head and thinks to himself..who are the Neilsons? Do I know these people?

Mom: Look, we have a box attached to each TV and every time we watch we have to click this remote ( oh man, just what my parents need, another remote) and it tells the Neilsons what we watch.

Paul is still scratching his head when Dad enters stage left. “Yes Paul..I am viewer #1, Betty is viewer #2 and you are viewer #3″
Does this remind anyone of Dr. Seuss.. Thing 1 and Thing2 ?

More puzzled looks from Paul since he watches whatever they are watching and endures the maximum volume possible allowed to boot.

Paul…”well how did this happen?”

Mom “we were SELECTED“     This was said with great pride.

Okay..well do they compensate you for it?

Dad “why yes we got a Cherry Pie” mmm “Oh and a small stipend” Evidently the stipend is super top secret because he would not say how much.

Mom..”Yes..they were here for five hours installing everything”

What a good deal for those guys. I am sure Mom fed them and maybe even sent them home with food. They did have to endure Dad’s jokes since he had a new audience and try and install this stuff on my folks antiquated televisions. They earned their wages for sure that day.

Paul was patient as Dad explained the whole process to him. He couldn’t help but ask, so what happens if I watch TV with logging in?

Does a death ray emit from the TV?

Dad didn’t miss a beat ( but did miss the humor) “Well I don’t know about that but you MUST log in everytime”

mmm, maybe there is a death ray or at least an electric shock, who knows.

Early the next morning Paul procured a plastic container and lid from my mothers collection of at least 1,000. She never met a plastic container she couldn’t keep. He got the cherry pie out of the frig to take a piece for lunch and there on top of the pie was a note in Dads handwriting.

I forgot to tell you…keep the Neilson stuff a secret..mum’s the word!

Kudos to Dad for putting it on the cherry pie. Paul never met one he couldn’t resist.

I could have saved the “Neilson family” alot of time and trouble. Here are the shows Mom and Dad watch: Anything with a talking head or pundit ( with election season there are just too many to list) NCIS ( Mom’s fav) PBS and the history channel.

If they hadn’t canned  “As the World Turns” that would be on the list as well.

Oh and so much for demographics. I guess advertisers really want to know what the octogenarians are watching these days.

Now remember its a secret. Perhaps Mom is thinking if they excel at this the Neilson family will invite them for dinner or maybe she’s afraid there really is a death ray. Oh my.

I’ll bet if we all got together and traded parent stories we could make a fare wage at the networks as “Idea” people.

I am hoping none of my kids start to blog about us.

You know what they say about paybacks

Keep laughing,

I really wanted to run it and have it be my very first ( and possibly my one and only) marathon.

I was tempted to register for it again today especially when I saw it was  98% full  about an hour and 15 minutes after registration opened.

I knew it would fill up fast but this must be some kind of record!

Turned out it was.  The 30,000 online registration spots were spoken for in 2 hrs and 41 minutes.  Wow.

Even though I know it was the right decision I still am a little sad that I am not one of those 30,000 runners who registered today.

And I am a little relieved.  I still want to run a marathon but I am happy to not have the pressure of training for it right now.  I am slowly increasing my running mileage and getting back into a regular running routine.  My first official race will be a 10k at the end of the month and if I am smart I will listen to my body and run/walk it.

Not only will I need to listen to my body but I will also need to swallow my pride as well.  Something I was not willing to do last year for the marathon.

Yes I didn’t run it because I needed to rehab my back.  That was a smart decision.  BUT the rest of the story is the part I need to own.   I realized early on in my training that I would need to run/walk the marathon.  I read a couple of books and decided it was my best option.

If my back hadn’t gotten in my way  and prevented me from running the marathon then truthfully I believe my head ( my stinking thinking) my pride and my fear of being judged would have done me in.

Even though I was doing fair in the run/walk training despite my back I couldn’t get the picture out of my mind of how it would look to run/walk the marathon.  I saw myself running for a set number of minutes and then walking for one or two minutes and being embarrassed ( esp at the beginning of the race) as everyone passed me by.

Now I am embarrassed that I actually let this limiting belief get in my way.

I have been a spectator at this race two or three times when my husband ran it.  I saw the beginning, middle and end and I NEVER saw anyone walking in the beginning.

There probably were people walking I just didn’t see them.  And even if  nobody did, there is a first for everything.  After all my whole goal was to finish.  Actually my goal was to make it over the bridge in the time alloted so I could finish the race and not be picked up by the “stragglers” van.

So I often wonder if I hadn’t had to bow out because of my back would I have been able to step up to the starting line and run my own race, my way??

It wasn’t until recently that I was willing to own the “head” part of my story.   My whole being minus the negative thinking  is now ready to run a marathon however I choose to run it…run, walk, skip, moon walk..its all good .

And I still want to do a marathon but no pressure.  We have the Richmond Marathon here in Nov.  The beauty of this race is that its also a half marathon and an 8k.  It is local and little less crowded. I can opt for the shorter distances if  I am not ready for the whole 26.2 miles.  ( FYI, I have to opt in for the shorter distances a couple of days before the race)

No pressure here..not even with the registration, although I will register soon.

I will keep you posted periodically on my progress as well as a couple of triathlons I am hoping to do.

Honestly I already feel victorious. Owning my true marathon story is more than half the battle.

It is also in keeping with my favorite quote :

“The miracle isn’t that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start”  John Bingham

You know me..I have to tri!

I love connecting with friends I might not see, offer love and support during trying times and laugh at everyday mishaps.

And yet  some of my friends post things that make me scratch my head.

So why is facebook like riding in your car?

Take a good look at your car and tell me what you see?  Wait..stand outside and look at it.  Less stress that way because it won’t remind you that you really need to clean it out or maybe I am the only one that feels like my car sometimes resembles a rolling trash can.

Well my guess is your car is like ALL cars and there is a front window, a back window and several side windows.  Windows that you can see through.  Sorry..another “cleaning reminder”  ( thank God for rain or my car would never get washed)

So you are riding down the highway and you glance over and you see all kinds of things..people eating, people singing, people talking on the phone ( argghhh) people doing gross things which I will leave to your imagination but noses and fingers come to mind ( and that’s one of the mild ones)

So whats my point and how does it relate to Facebook?

For SOME reason we forget there are windows in our cars that OTHER people can look in and see what we are doing.

For SOME reason we forget that ALL of our 200, 300 or 1,000 facebook friends can read our posts.

AND I don’t care how great your privacy settings are..friends of friends, future employers and most anyone you DON’T want to read your posts really CAN see them…believe me I am not tech savvy enough to know how but I KNOW they can and do.

So I have a few personal rules about posting on FB ( rules on what you can and can’t do while driving will posted at a later date)

I expanded them and just thought I would share and maybe you all can share your favorites.

1.  When I am in a bitchy bad mood .. I stay away from the keyboard and actually FB in general.  No one really wants to read my cranky pants posts and I am certainly don’t want to read posts about how great your life is when I am unbelievably crabby.

2.   Its okay to post that you love your kids and you are soooo very happy to have them home for the 10th day in a row due to snow, illness or major disasters ( we had an earthquake AND a hurricane in 2011)

Its NOT okay to post that you love having your kids home for the 10th day in a row when you are really going stark raving mad, out of wine, pms’ing and the hubby is out town to Florida no less  and you are going to clear the snow for the bus yourself if you kids say  “we’re bored, hungry, …  one more time.

A little sincerity please.

So just as a side note..if I go a long time without posting just assume I am either without a web connection or in dire need of an attitude adjustment . Translate that how you will but it sometimes involves liquid encouragement and my friend master card or just a good chat with my BFF.  And I hate to say it because some of you will gag..but a good run, workout or bike ride.

3.  Photos…post only flattering ones of your friends and family.  You may think its funny to post that really awful photo of your sister or friend but payback is right around the corner.   Let’s go easy on the travel photos.  Less is more.   New babies?  More more more.  Nothing sweeter.  50 photos of Mt Rushmore..not so much.

3a.  If you tag me in a really awful photo of myself and I untag myself ( yes you can do this and its wonderful) do not keep retagging me.  One its just annoying and two..maybe you are really a frenemy and not a friend???

4.  Absolutely NO photos of gaping wounds( seriously) or giving birth ..I mean actually giving birth.  This is coming from a nurse who gets to see the miracle of birth on a regular basis but trust me..those photos are for your viewing only.

5.  Hateful posts..if you wouldn’t say it the persons face then it doesn’t belong on Facebook..in a bad mood?  See rule #1.

6.  Letting everyone and the world know you are away.  I have heard although I have not checked it out that there is a website called  “Rob my house” and it features ways to rob people they know are on vacation via..drumroll…their Facebook posts!!  Pretty much a no brainer.  Might as well leave the key under the mat for them and a light on.

7.  I was never happier then when I learned how to hide all those Farmville requests and now any game requests.  I have nothing against them except they were annoying and I was tempted to find out and possibly join but I knew I would get addicted.  I can manage to fritter away my time on my own quite nicely…any help in this direction is not needed.  Currently I am avoiding Words with Friends….because I know I would love it and be good at it as well.

8.  Actually as of the moment those are all the rules I have.  I am sure I will come up with a few more.  Feel free to add any you might have in the comments section.   Coming soon to a post in this blog..the ” do’s and don’t’s of conductiog “business” in Starbucks and Panera’s  otherwise known as “get a real office”.

Off to check facebook     as in See Jenn Tri to waste more time!

I am making a case that my favorite comedy writers should just call me up and ask me for the latest happenings at the Ross household.  We seem to have an endless series of comedy routines unfolding daily.

So first up..my parents.  Bless their 85 year old hearts.  They are a constant source of humor.

Scene 1  “Let them eat flowers”

My Mom just celebrated her 85th birthday.  Her “real” present is a day with me that involves great food and lots of retail therapy and time together.   In the meantime we sent her flowers and balloons.  Not just any flowers.  Something different.

Flowers in the shape of a cake.    The florist assured me that it would be beautiful.

It was too beautiful and too real.  My Mom loved it and she was especially excited to get balloons. Seems in her 85 years no one ever sent her balloons.

Note to self..you are never too old to receive balloons.

Later in the day we spoke and she once again thanked us and then said “We can’t wait to have a piece of the cake”

OOPS

We finally had her look closely at the cake and she laughed when she realized it really was flowers and not cake

In her defense it was delivered in a cake box.

My Dad’s reaction “What?  Does that mean we don’t get cake??”

Hahahahahaha…sorry Dad..I’ll bring “real cake” when I visit the next time.

( This is the photo from the florist.  Mom sent me one of the actual cake which was all white with pink but her photo ( like all the photos she takes) was mostly of the wall.  Sigh..just gotta love her!)

Scene 2:   “Wait I am standing right here”

Could never seem to catch my boss in her office.  Sooo I sent her an e-mail even though I would have rather talked about this situation  in person.  Ran into her the following day and this is what unfolded.

“Hi Jenn..got your e-mail but just haven’t had a chance to respond.

Great…( I take a breath)  Obviously I breathe in way too slow because she was already halfway down the hall and out the door and though I tried I could not catch her to talk  for the 1 minute I needed to hear her response.

Seriously??  The writers from “The Office” need to contact me for even more material that could potentially get me fired.

Oh and 2 days later I still don’t have that e-mail response and she has gone MIA again.

Scene 3:   “Thanks Jeff..its really not that bad”  or “Certain rooms are off limits”

I  have to tell you this happened years ago when people still had a sense of humor about these things ( Thank God)

So I am in the shower in the late afternoon on a summer day after doing some yard work.  I hear my six year old son yelling “Mom. Mom Mom Mom “  throughout the house.  I yell back  I”m in the shower”  The renditions of Mom Mom Mom reverberate up the stairwell until he discovers me SOOOOO I open the shower door and there he stands

WITH HIS FRIEND, Jeff.

Jeff immediately covers his eyes and I close the door and mutter “Its really not that bad Jeff”

My son gets a lecture and new rules on who he can bring into the bathroom (nobody) .  That’s not the worst part.  The worst part was calling Jeff’s Mom to tell her if her son ever mentions ( hopefully not at the dinner table) that he saw Mrs. Ross naked, ummm..he is not lying.

So there you have it.  Scenes from Part 1 of  our version of reality T.V.

What’s your favorite “reality” moment in your real life?   We can’t be the only ones whose family motto is:

“Remember, as far as anyone else knows,

we are a nice, normal family.”

Keep laughing and keep “trying”

I did complete one triathlon this season.  Wanted to do more but it wasn’t meant to be.

It wasn’t my best triathlon but it was the one where I learned the most about myself.   So my favorite part worst sport of the three is swimming.  Its a wonder I don’t drown every time.  I even took a swim class this winter.  It helped…sort of.

Even though I was close to being the last one out of the water I am going to give myself credit for a couple of things:

• I didn’t have to be  rescued by the kayakers
• I kept my sense of humor
• My slow swim made it easy to find my bike since almost everybody had already left!

Off on the bike. Surely I would make up time here.  It was not to be.  Here is the short version of what happened in the middle of the killer hill ( of course)!

• my chain came off
• get off bike fix chain
• get back on bike and try to make it up this hill ( did I mention how insanely steep it is?)
• chain comes off again
• get off bike
• swear
• fix chain
• cross fingers

Once I got back on the bike for try #2 I can’t get my momentum back to get the hill

• Momentarily think about quitting
• more swearing
• walk bike up hill
• get back on and pedal like mad.

The rest of the ride was fairly uneventful.  I found my sense of humor and even scolded the cop who was busy taking up the safety cones before I even passed his checkpoint.

By the time I started the run I knew I was dead last.  So I spent time making peace with that during the run only to discover at the turnaround there was someone behind me.

Seriously??   I just made peace with it and now ..mmm… no time to think just run.

One of the nice things of coming in at the tail end is that there are lots of people to cheer you in.  They are truly happy for you and you know the clapping and cheers are sincere.

After some water and a banana I got into the crowd to cheer the last person in.  While standing there I found out it was her first tri, she beat breast cancer and also lost over 100 lbs.

WOW!!

Suddenly my woes during the race seemed trivial compared to the real life challenges of this triumphant participant.

She may have been last in the race but she was first in facing real life challenges.

It’s people like her who inspire me to keep “triing” no matter what the outcome because there are victories to be had just in the triing!

Be inspired!