When my kids were still at home I catered to their food preferences. One would only eat cheese pizza and another only pepperoni. We always had Mac n Cheese on hand and the kind jelly they preferred. In their toddler years there was always one who cried because their food was touching other food on the same plate.
I think this is universal in the parenting world and as I discovered these old habits die hard.
I would always bring home the kind of ice cream ( usually chocolate) that everyone else liked. I like chocolate but coffee ice cream also is one of my favs. I know in our early years I bought what we could afford so it made sense to buy for the majority and I would adapt.
I was in the in the grocery store recently when I suddenly realized that I no longer had to do that. It was just Paul and I and yet I was still buying things EVERYONE liked. Translate everyone to Paul. 🙂
So I bought the coffee ice cream. To be fair I brought home chocolate as well.
It did not go well. There was a lot of complaining. There was even more complaining when the chocolate ice cream was gone and only the coffee ice cream was left. Funny I didn’t eat any chocolate ice cream.
Here is the beauty of it. When I wanted some..it was there. It had not been devoured by the masses. It became my guilty pleasure, my luxury.
And ladies we need to do more of that. Yes we could do it on a grander scale. Please do so if you can. We deny ourselves or adapt for all kinds of reasons but there comes a time when it is more than okay to get what you want and enjoy it and not share ( unless you want to).
Think of it as investing in your emotional well being. For me a little coffee ice cream, a good book, a nice lotion, or some time alone from all the busyness makes me a much nicer person to myself and others.
There are always stories around Mother’s Day about women who have gone above and beyond for their family, their community or a cause they believe in. Their family and friends want to honor them and show their appreciation (as well they should) and then someone invariably says this one sentence that always makes me cringe.
” She deserves this because she never does anything for herself!”
It sounds so noble and wonderful that she gave so much of herself and sacrificed for others.
So why does it make me cringe?
It makes me cringe because is that really the example we want to set for our children especially our daughters? The example of giving and giving and making yourself last on the list or not on the list at all?
I didn’t think so.
Just to be clear no one wants to be around someone who is high maintenance and needy and has to have things her way. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the simple everyday things that show our children that is more than ok to do nice things for yourself. It is needed. It is essential to our well being.
Whenever I am “shoulding” on myself as in “I should go help with that instead of reading, crafting, napping, taking a bubble bath, walking, enjoying nature or whatever fills my gas tank I pause and check in with myself. If I am running on fumes because I have been over giving of myself I know it is time to invoke the “coffee ice cream rule”
And just like in the movies I will post this disclaimer and you can steal it.
“No one in this house was harmed in any way by Mom having her favorite flavor of ice cream, taking a nap, enjoying some quiet, reading a book, or having a secret stash of her favorite candy.”
Some of my more dramatic family members may have claimed they really suffered because of the above but they only did it until they had kids of their own and then they got it. Now to work on the hubby 🙂 Just kidding…maybe.
So what is your coffee ice cream? Steal my mantra or create one of your own. Invest in yourself !!! That’s an order.
As for me..I’m heading to the frig for that coffee ice cream 🙂
