Dear TV police..please arrest ABC for theft

So I am an on again off again TV watcher.  After getting Netflix a few months ago I now understand the love affair between people and their DVR’s.  Commercial free veiwing is true bliss not to mention a real time saver.

That’s not what I want to write about though.  If there really was something like the TV police I would put everyone at ABC in jail for theft ….of several of my IQ points.

I was originally only going to write about one program but then this morning on Good Morning America they stole at least one more.  Plus they are aiding and abetting the dumbing down  of America.

It all started with the show “The Bachelor”.   Just to be clear I have been, in the past, a fan of this show. Also I realize that this is some people’s guilty pleasure and others watch it for pure comedic value.  It makes no difference why you watch it, no apologies needed.

I do have to share the very first time I saw an episode.  I was channel surfing many years ago ( at least 8 because it was in our old house) and I saw this girl sitting with a bunch of other beautiful women practically having a nervous breakdown and a guy handing out roses and I was like “What the???”  What is going on here?  This guy must be some kinda special.  Turns out he really wasn’t but I was hooked.

Fast forward to when Melissa Rycroft was on and officially ended my Bachelor watching days except for a glance here or there.  If you recall Melissa was the final choice except during the time filming had ended and the show actually aired the jerk changed his mind and secretly started seeing the runner up and humilated Melissa on the “After the Final Rose” show to which she replied “you bastard” which is my all time favorite line from the the Bachelor EVER.

He did Melissa a favor as she went on to bigger and better things and married a nicer guy.

So this season found Farmer Chris trying to choose his perfect soulmate and move her to a town in Iowa where everything is closed except of  course his farm which explains why he had to be on the Bachelor because there are no women in his town.

So a couple of things I have realized since my days of watching:

  • It’s not a show about finding love, its a competition
  • It’s so edited that even the nice girls come out looking like drama queens
  • They pick the girls so there is at least one girl who will get naked, one with a tragic background, more than several that can’t talk without swearing , a couple that can’t hold their alcohol or don’t know how to stop, the party animals, and the ones that cry ALL THE TIME..oh wait that was Chris  the Bachelor
  • Throw them all in one house with one guy as the prize and you have great ratings.

Please..I saw a part of the show with the final dates and the final show.  It was painful.  Painfully stupid.   And the only reason I watched was for some laughs from all the twitter comments.  I did however especially like the part where he shut the car door on the girl he didn’t choose ( she wasn’t sure she could move to a town where everything was closed..smart girl)  He shut the car door with an attitude and I’m sure mumbled under his breath “don’t let the car door hit you in the spanks on your way home”

Here is my favorite photo of Chris that was rampant on twitter:

Chris with an ear of corn

On top of that the shows’ brainiacs could not choose a new Bachelorette so instead there are two women who will get to compete for the position and the voters will be the guys competing for her love.  Seriously??  Walk away girls Walk away..and there goes another IQ point.

It must be rampant at ABC..the dumbing down that is ( except for Shonda Rhimes) because just the other day on GMA they were featuring Antonio Sabato Jr ( I think it was him or some other cute Latin hunk) who is now into decorating and fixing up homes.  So they decided to give Ginger Zee and Amy Rhoback a quiz ( where you hit the buzzer and yell out your answer) So here is the first question ( turned it off after this, couldn’t take it)

If you want to hang a picture in your home for a focal point on the wall and a splash of color, which of the following do you NOT need?

      A.  A stud finder

            B.  A hook and nail

C.  A trowel

And  Ginger Zee with way too much excitement hits her buzzer and yells out C.   OMG  and Duh.  So I shut it off. Then I had a thought.  That quiz was rigged because any college student knows a trowel  (or a shoe, book or spoon) can work as a hammer.  So the real answer is  D. All of the Above

Have to run, if you need to find me I will be applying for a job as an ABC executive overseeing the Bachelor.  Oh wait, I’m too smart for that.

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