If I slow down..I find them

I look out the window knowing what I will see.  The beach, the ocean. I hear it before I see it and the salty air surrounds me when I step out on the deck.

The weather is perfect considering it is January and we aren’t that far south.   It teases me with warm sunshine followed by a chilled breeze.  Enough warmth and sun to make me happy and enough chill to remember it is not even spring yet.

I slow down and drink it in.  No matter how many times I come here I am always amazed at Mother Nature and her ability to paint the skies in the early morning and evening.

The slower I get the more grace and joy make themselves known.

Sometimes they appear on the beach.  A puppy running around, a seashell shaped like a heart or the sandpipers huddled up against the chilly wind.

As the day winds down grace and joy follow me into the cottage as I fill the photo album with black and white and the occassional color photos of my childhood.

There aren’t alot but enough to get a glimpse of my life in the 1960’s.  The familiar kitchen table, the corded wall phone, the small chest of drawers that now resides in my home.

And my first photo with my Mom.

You can’t see me but I am there.  At first I hesitate to put it in the album.  I set it aside and look for others.

It sits waiting.

My toddler sister is standing on a tree trunk, my mother protectively beside her.

I am nowhere to be seen.

Yet I am there.

I have seen this photo many times.

I hear my mothers voice and what she said when we looked at the photo.

“There are three of us in this photo.”  As a child I would look at her and not understand.

“It is Susan, me and you.”  “I was newly pregnant with you.”

Grace and joy sit quietly waiting for me to figure it out.

My mother said that same phrase every single time we looked at that photo.

Every single time.

She wanted me to know I was there.  Already anticipated, already loved.

I was not planned.  I was a surprise and my mother was already tired with two toddlers.  I was a cranky irritable newborn for the first six weeks and my parents were beyond exhaustion.

Still she wanted me to know I was in the photo.

I put the photo in my album and write what it means to me so my children and grandchildren will know.

I feel grace and joy softly surround me.

She said it every single time.

Love is spoken in so many ways..this was one of hers.

Thanks Mom

As always keep triing,

Jennifer

P.S.The technology gremlins are not behaving … but hopefully will be fixed soon.  Who knew one little < would mess everything up.

In any case once it is fixed you too can get this right into to you inbox almost every Tuesday (a day earlier than everyone else …  :)!  Just fill out the very annoying pop up in this post!

All grammatical and spelling errors are my gift to you and may you have a magical day or several 🙂

I was recently published in the book ” So God Made a Mother” ( you can order it here) and I am working on a yet to be named novel.  My six grandchildren keep me young and my very organized hubby Paul tolerates my very unorganized yiddle ( middle and youngest) self.  Opposites do attract 🙂

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