Living Single While Very Married! The first of many good-byes…

After our very long road trip to get Paul to his new job the day we were dreading arrived.  No matter how many times we have done this, saying good-bye never gets easy.

I stood in the airport trying not to feed into my fear and uncertainty.  We had no idea how long this would last, how often we would see each other, if he would like the job, or if it would just be too much for the both of us.

What had we done?

The list of unknowns grew exponentially and I finally had to put it out of my mind or I was going to go crazy.

I thought back to our very first real good-bye when we were  at the ripe old ages of 21 and 22 yrs. He headed to flight school and I headed back to college. It was hard enough then but we did have the advantage of a pretty solid time frame and a date when we knew we would be together forever.

Navy deployments followed, along with TDY’s ( temporary duty assignments) and other things that kept us apart.

One thing remained constant.  We always dreaded the good-byes.  The last hug, the last kiss, the promise to write ( calling was not always an option, no cell phones or even computers back then) and the hope that time would go quickly.

Thirty years later and we were back to where we started.

So we hugged and said good-bye, took some deep breaths and I boarded the plane and started this new unknown adventure.

Three  things I knew for sure:

I loved Paul enough to let him go pursue his dream.

He loved me enough to understand that I needed to stay.

And the one  other constant with all these separations that we always looked forward to…

The “hello’s” are ever so delicious!!

I don’t have any photos of our goodbyes and only one of our hello’s but it remains a favorite.  At Barbers Point Naval Air Station, Oahu , Hawaii  Feburary 1984..a few days away from being a family of four!





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  1. Jeannine Uze says

    I’ve lived this as a child as a military brat. This is also my reality and has been for the last three years. I can’t let go of my need for independence and my own career. That military kid/wife need to have a way to support myself”just in case”. Reunions are all the more sweet!

  2. My husband is Navy and stationed away from us right now. He comes home on weekends, and we have about 18 months left. The solo parenting is the absolute hardest part.

    • Jenn Ross says

      Absolutely!! I have such empathy for single Moms, military spouses and now at my age widows. This experience has so many facets to it from appreciating all the things my hubby does that I didn’t even think about ( car registrations, inspections, maintanance) to learning new things how to jump start the car to how much it really is a couples world. Hang in there.