My Relationship Status with the Treadmill: “It’s Complicated”

Dear Treadmill,

I need you, I want you, I dislike you intensely.  You are always there for me, calling me, acting coy.  You whisper sweet encouragement like:

  • I will go as fast or as slow as you want
  • Your running wish is my command
  • I have a fan for you and lots of buttons for you,the gadget queen
  • I will keep you warm and dry
  • I will hold your water and make it available at any time
  • Music or TV..whatever you wish
  • If I fall ill my friend is right next to me as my back up

So I succumb to your sweet whispers as it rains or snows or even in the dark of night.  And you…

BETRAY ME…with

  • confusing buttons that make me go faster than I want
  • boredom…the scenery never changes
  • throwing me off when I dared to lose concentration
  • throwing me off again when I dared to remove my jacket and forgot to keep running
  • video taping the whole thing ( I think you have a deal with American Funniest Home Videos)
  • no sympathy for my scraped hands and knees ( see above)  I swear I heard you chuckle

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And yet I can’t resist going back and giving,you, Miss Treadmill, another try.  We are getting better at getting along.

You haven’t thrown me off the last couple of times ( my knees and  hands thank you), I’m learning to push the right buttons and have outsmarted you by staying focused ( instead of being like the dog who suddenly sees “squirrel”)

After looking for a you tube video to post to this blog I now understand your reluctance to be nice.

I found people who abused  you by:

  • running on you with high heels ( yeah..I’d throw her off too in a nano second and you did )
  • trying to bike on you instead of run
  • running drunk ( no explanation needed on what happened there)
  • trying to jump on after you are already running at full speed
  • playing hopscotch on you and your friends ( jumping from one running treadmill to the next)

Here’s a link to some of  “those”  treadmill abusers:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4XFDweEgeU

So despite your attitude problem, Miss Treadmill, I will continue to try but in the meantime I have bad news.

The open road will always be my main squeeze…oh yeah!

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