Shortcuts and DIY’s ending badly….

Whenever I get impatient and try to take shortcuts it almost always ends badly.

Badly as in ” I will just trim my own bangs instead of waiting for my appointment” badly.  Learned that one the hard way.

In the realm of you can’t make this stuff up, here are few of our real “life lessons learned the hard way”

Who needs to follow a recipe?

During our newlywed days Paul had a hankering for chocolate chip cookies.  I walked into the kitchen when I heard our mixer’s motor straining and grinding.  I looked in the bowl and discovered he had put all the ingredients in at once because mixing them in one at a time was not a very efficient use of his time.  He almost destroyed our very inexpensive mixer and those cookies were so tasty..not.

Why are we in the middle of nowhere?

We didn’t speak the language, we had no idea where we were so of course let’s not follow the signs.  On our way to the Rome Airport from Tuscany we detoured to save time and ended up in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, no readable map and no GPS.  How we made it the airport I will never know.  Lots of prayers, lots of turn arounds and dead ends and somehow made it to a highway.  And you guessed it we did not save any time.

This will save us time and work or will it?

As brand new first time homeowner Paul wanted to have the nicest yard ever.  It had been neglected for years and had quite a bit of crabgrass.  Somehow, somewhere he heard of this weed killer that would kill ONLY the weeds.  Now that I think about it I think the yard was only weeds..mmm.  In any case he excitedly put it all over our yard and was ready to cultivate and groom the remaining grass.  Except there wasn’t any.  It killed everything including the small amount of grass we actually had.

Any soap will do right?

When I was small we had a babysitter that had never had a dishwasher but gleefully filled it full of dishes and soap and started it.  Problem was she had no idea she couldn’t put regular soap in it.  She put in a product called Pink Dreft which is more of a laundry soap.  Pink fluffly suds filled our kitchen.  I learned a few swear words from my father that evening 🙂 and also to only use dishwasher compound.  It was an adventure to have  a kitchen full of suds . I was 8 so great fun !

I can do this.  Maybe not…

My hubby is extremely handy but he quickly learned operating a back hoe is not one of his skills. I don’t remember why but something with our water line needed repaired and it required a back hoe to dig it up.  Not only did it wreack havoc with our yard which come to think of it hadn’t recovered from the weed incident but turns out that machine is great at cutting the cable for our entire street.   Yes we were very popular that day.

 Whats The Worst That Could Happen Jocelyn GIF - Whats The Worst That Could Happen Jocelyn Jocelyn Schitt GIFs

It will be fine..right?

A friend decided to bake her grandmothers famous pound cake.  The batter filled the cake pan to the very top.  It will be fine she thought, what could happen?

Wait for it.

The oven caught on fire.  She frantically tried to put the fire out while her hubby got the fire extinguisher that unfortunately it still had the zip ties on it.

After much yelling the fire got put out.  Sadly the pound cake did not survive.

But wait there’s more….

We also have stories about getting lost on a hike and ending up near a prison yard, sledding into a pond, confusing sugar with salt while making jelly ( that was my grandmother), cooking a TV dinner in the carton (my grandfather and brother trying to cook for themeslves) and my mother putting a dinner roll to reheat in her new microwave for one minute.  No fire but one very well heated hard as a rock roll.

And the last one…years ago my brother was spending the night alone in my grandparents rather large farmhouse.  He heard noises and was sure someone was breaking into the house.  He grabbed a baseball bat and came very close to beating the very noisy icemaker to death.  🙂  It took years for him to live that one down.  That one is not a shortcut or DIY but still funny.

As always keep triing,


P.S.  I’ve decided the technology gremlins will always be tempermental.  In any case you can get this blog post right into your inbox every Tuesday, just fill out the very annoying pop up on this post.

Think twice before short cuts or DIY’s …if not please share the ones that go sideways. I enjoy a good laugh

All grammatical and spelling errors are my gift to you and may you have a magical day or several 🙂

I was recently published in the book ” So God Made a Mother” ( you can order it here) and I am working on a yet to be named novel.  My six grandchildren keep me young and my very organized hubby Paul tolerates my very unorganized yiddle ( middle and youngest) self.  Opposites do attract 🙂

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