So I was just hanging there like a side of beef….

Yes I was just hanging there like a side of beef waiting to be rescued.

Wait I am getting ahead of myself.  Have to give you a little background first.

Of my many talents one of them seems to be hanging around by a tether from high places.  Once I did it upside down.  Well I have only done it twice but once is actually enough.  What can I say I am the classic overachiever.

At least I manage to space my hanging around  in midair by a decade plus a couple of years.  The first time in 2009 I had the privilege of doing some repelling  with some really cute National Guard guys.  If you are going to hang upside down and in mid air with your rear end facing everyone ( okay don’t get weird on me I had on shorts..nothing was hanging out) then you might as well do it with a bunch of handsome military guys.  Fortunately I managed to get down on my own, tried it again and was successful in repelling down without any acrobatics.  I do have a nice photo just to prove it.

So fast forward to last Friday.  We have this place near me called “Go Ape”  It is basically an obstacle course in the trees.  There are five stations with each one ending in a zip line.  It is lots of fun but challenging at the same time.

It is also very safe.  You are strapped in and as long as you follow the rules ( always stay attached) you have no danger of falling.

I have done it with five of my six grandchildren multiple times ( seven times) so when our daughter invited us to go with her family on Friday I was confident that I was a seasoned pro.

Well maybe not.

I have to admit there are a couple of  obstacles I really don’t like.   One is the rings…where you are suppose to put your foot in each ring across.  The first time I did it I tried to cheat and got hit in the eye  with one of the rings and sported a shiner for a couple of days. The other two include the “apple ladder” which is a 12 inch wide ladder that goes up rather high.  The other is the Tarzan Swing where you jump off a platform and swing into a cargo net.  I actually don’t jump but rather slide off the platform.  The trick is to swing into the cargo net, swing back to the middle and then back into the cargo net. That first jump off the platform is a doozy.  The drop is HUGE!  I always wonder why I do it when I get to this part .  Since this was my 8th time doing it, it should be a piece of cake., after all I’m an old pro right?  WRONG!

I’m reliving it as I write this and my heart is pounding..geez..get a grip.   I scoot off the platform and go flying into the cargo net, swing back to the middle and back to the cargo net and grab it.  All is well.


Trying to climb a cargo net with tired arms ( there are multiple ladders and lots of upper body strength needed through the entire course) is not easy.  Basically my arms turned to noodles.  My daughter tried to help…I started to laugh.  And finally my 12 year old granddaughter got to do what she really wanted to do.  Blow the red  emergency whistle.  Only she didn’t blow it once, she blew it  5 times.

This kid came runnng…. like I was having a heart attack or something.

I forgot the best part.  When I gave up trying to get up the cargo net I just hung there like a side of beef dangling in the air.  No cute National Guardsmen nearby… just my family watching Grandma hang out, mid air…dangling.   I reassured the kid I was fine.  He got another rope to me which I attached to may safety harness and then proceeded to hoist me to the platform like I was a piano being hoisted in a scene from The Three Stooges.

I finished the course…happy to be on the ground again.  My pride a little bruised.  A vow to do some more strength training for my arms and a lot of sympathy for anyone left dangling in the air.

I am all about making the memories and this will be a good one.  I can hear it now. Remember the time grandma hung like a side of beef at Go Ape and had to be rescued?

No actual photos of me hanging but here is one of me getting back on the platform. Such grace and poise.  Emily Post would be so proud.  And while I am always amazed at some of the random funny videos I see posted on social media of events like this one I was happy no one thought to pull out their cell phone.

I will try it again another day, just to prove that I can.

Here is to a great day and as always “Keep Triing”



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