The Blessings Of Grief

I’m guessing that not many people would put the words blessings and grief together but I could see no other way.

Also I promised myself I would not write one more sad post about grief and losing people that I love but……hang in here with me, I promise this is more about joy than it is grief.

In 2017 I lost my Dad quite suddenly and was unexpectedly slam dunked into a world of grief all the while trying to help my mother cope with the loss and an inevitable move to assisted living.

In the 6 years since Dad died I have lost 3 really wonderful friends and my Mom and grief have been a constant companion.   It has  also been that not so welcome friend that shows up to create havoc with my emotions when I least expect it.

When one of the most wonderful, kind and generous human beings I have ever known unexpectedly died last month I expected to go down the unending rabbit hole of grief and once again slowly crawl to the surface.

I fell but not quite so far.  Tears and sadness were with me.  It was hard because she was a long distance friend and I was pretty much grieving alone except for a few phone calls to mutual friends who knew what a profound loss this was to us and so many others.

This friend was joy personified and I started listing all the things she had given me. Not material things but perspectives, phrases, fun memories and laughter.  Oh and time.  She always gave me her time and undivided attention.

Its hard to be sad when there was so much to be thankful for and I started to think about my other losses and the many happy memories that make me smile.

Lots of memories from my Dad but my current one is how he loved to save the almost dead plants he would bring home from the grocery store and magically bring them back to life.  We brought one of his clippings he had started here to the new house and stuck it in front of the garage and promptly ignored it.

It is flourishing.

Dad loved being in his garage so there is that.  It makes me smile and it reminds me to never give up, appearances may be deceiving and a little sun and water and a favorite spot can make one blossom.

My friend Francy taught me the value of early morning walks.  I saw more sunrises and solved more problems with her at 5am than anyone else in my life.  I see Francy in all the sunrises I see and smile.

My Mom was the ultimate hostess, cook and letter writer.  Whenever I make one of her recipes, host a party or write a real note that needs a stamp I channel my inner Betty.  I miss her but I am grateful for all that she was as a Mom.

My friend Tammy taught me that you can never have enough glitter or sparkle. 🙂  Hello Kitty, Tinker Bell and anything Snoopy are things that are never outgrown.  I never saw anyone look better with purple hair. Tammy follows me around Home Goods and Michaels encouraging me to bring more sparkle into my day. I am now the proud owner of lots of sparkles. Tammy would be proud 🙂

My dear friend Susan.  She was in a word fabulous.  She taught me to choose joy, get my hair wet at the pool or ocean, drink champagne, and celebrate everything.  She blessed me with her time and her gifts of living in the moment.  She made me realize a little or a lot of Grace changes everything.  She made me a better person.

Actually all of these loved ones and friends made me a better person.  I think how blessed I was to have my parents but also how lucky I am to have had these other wonderful people come into my life and brighten it up.

Yes I wish we had more time together.  That will be my forever wish.  Yes I have grieved them but the blessing is I got to have them in my life, learn from them and love and be loved by them.

So yes grief and saying goodbye stinks but the joy is so much bigger than the grief.  That joy is my blessing.

I would be a different person if they had not been in my life.

So here is to the blessing of grief.  It makes each day important and special and not to be wasted.

Raise a glass to those you have lost and those you still get to love.

As always keep is the best thing we can do!


P.S.  I try to post every Tuesday except for today which I thought was Tuesday but obviously not 🙂

Also any grammatical or spelling errors are my gift to you.  You are welcome 🙂

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