The life of a writer, like any other profession is a roller coaster of emotions.
Often we write from a vulerable place within us. We put the words on paper, online in a blog post or social media and hope that in some small way our words add to the lives of those reading the piece.
Sometimes the connection is in the familiarity of a shared experience or memory or even the consolation that other people are struggling as well and we all are doing the best we can at any given moment.
It is difficult not to yearn for a few accolades once a piece reaches the public.
For me I often remind myself that it is not the writing itself or the publishing that is the most important but that I kept true to the promise I made to myself to keep writing, keep trying, keep communicating.
Almost everyone suffers a tad from imposter syndrome, living in fear that someone will find out that we aren’t all that talented in any given field and that we have been pretending all this time. The doubts and fear multiply and it can be paralyzing.
Last April a piece of mine was published in the book “So God Made a Mother”. I actually got the news my piece had been accepted on Friday the 13th in May of 2022. Perhaps my new lucky day!
I also got paid for it. In todays economy it would equate to a grocery cart full of groceries. The amount did not matter. Suddenly I felt like Sally Fields accepting the Oscar exclaiming ” You like me, you really like me”.
It was so validating that the women putting the book together thought my piece was worthy.
It was also eye opening. There is a facebook group of fellow writers that also had the opportunity to submit pieces for the book. When the deadline passed in Sept. 2021 there were many posts from other writers who never submitted their piece because they didn’t think it was good enough. I often wonder what gems we missed out on because imposter syndrome reared its ugly head.
Truth be told I had no idea if one or both of the two pieces I submitted would be accepted. I did know if I didn’t try I would regret it and the advantage of being older than most of the other writers in the group is that I knew I had nothing to lose. Still hitting that send button is a scary thing.
Even best selling authors suffer from imposter syndrome. When I found this out I thought, yeah right. Yet it is true. I have heard the sincere words and the angst come right out of their mouths during interviews.
This past week-end I was at a girls week-end in the Shenadoah mountains. I had contacted the book buyer for their gift shop about carrying the book. Actually I emailed him several times since January of 2022. No response.
Since I go on these week-ends twice a year I check to see if it is there. Nope. Sigh.
I sent one more email this past summer. Crickets.
I promptly forgot about it.
This past week-end I walked into the shop and there right as you walked in was the book front and center! I was so surprised because the book buyer never told me. I squealed in delight. I took photos. It was exciting. My perserverance had paid off.
And later as we were packing up one of the gals stopped me as I was about to leave.
She said ” Your writing was beautiful” I had no idea what she meant. Then I got it. She stopped to read my words. She searched in the book for my piece and took the time to read it.
I was so grateful.
Her words to me made a difference. Your words, whether you speak them or write them matter.
I stopped halfway through this blog post thinking I shouldn’t publish it because it was basically about me and my writing.
It is not. I am hoping the take away is this : Perserverance matters whether it is doing something you love no matter what or not giving up as my emails to the book buyer proved.
It’s about feeling the fear and doing it anyways. Send that writing in, take that course, run that race, or do whatever brings you joy.
There is a poem written through the eyes of a child and what he or she sees Mom doing. It is called ” When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking” One of the many lines in this beautiful poem is :
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.
Whatever you love to do, create, and write please keeping doing it and putting it out in the world. Even if people say nothing I think they notice. I will never know how many Moms read my piece and were comforted by it. I don’t need to know because I know it is out there and I hope my words find them.
As always keep triing…everything about you matters!
Jennifer
P.S.
The technology gremlins are behaving ..yay! And because they are behaving you too can get this right into to you inbox almost every Tuesday ( a day earlier than everyone else … :)! Just fill out the very annoying pop up in this post!
All grammatical and spelling errors are my gift to you and may you have a magical day or several 🙂
I was recently published in the book ” So God Made a Mother” ( you can order it here) and I am working on a yet to be named novel. My six grandchildren keep me young and my very organized hubby Paul tolerates my very unorganized yiddle ( middle and youngest) self. Opposites do attract 🙂